Life happens. And it happened to me yesterday. I had to drive around all day for some urgent errand, got home late, had to deal with kids who didn’t want to sleep. This morning, I was tired and slept a little longer. Then, my daughter had a sore throat and wasn’t that well. Then a work issue happened. During lunch I played chess with my daughter, who was home from school. Then more work meetings, fixing dinner, making a couple of phone calls. And here we are.
By any productivity standard, today was a disaster. I didn’t get through my to-do list. I didn’t make progress on my side projects. I didn’t exercise or meditate or do any of the things I “should” do. The blog post I meant to write didn’t happen. That important email is still in drafts.
Vivere Memento
On my parents’ house wall, there’s a sundial. My dad has been a fan of sundials forever, and they had it built a few years ago. It looks south west, and shows the time, and how many hours until sunset. On the sundial there is an inscription in Latin that my mom thought about.
It says: “Vivere Memento!” Remember to live.
Living vs. Existing
There’s a difference between living and living. Most days, we exist. We go through the motions. We check boxes. We respond to the urgencies that come at us. We survive.
Living is different. Living is being present for the chess game with your daughter, even though you have sixty seven unread Slack messages. Living is cooking squid for dinner because you felt like it, not because you need fuel. Living is acknowledging that some days don’t go according to plan, and that’s okay.
The trap of “someday”
We tell ourselves: Someday, when I’m done, I’ll relax. Someday, when I get that promotion, I’ll spend more time with family. Someday, when things calm down, I’ll actually enjoy life.
But things never calm down. There’s always another project, another deadline, another crisis. The chaos doesn’t end - we just keep existing through it, waiting for some mythical future where we’ll have permission to live.
We end most of our days terrified of not having accomplished enough, forgetting that since time immemorial the sun starts over and over again every day. The sundial knows better. It watches the sun move across the sky over and over again and reminds us that, as you survive, you should also Remember to Live*
That’s just life. Live it.
No regrets.